Stress is…
"What arises when something you care about is at stake”.
Health psychologist Dr Kelly McGonigal gave this definition of stress in her groundbreaking book The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It. I highly recommend it.
What were your initial thoughts when reading this definition? I can tell you that when I first read this definition, I had to re-read it a few times to soak it in. There are so many different definitions for stress that it can be hard to pinpoint the “correct” or “right” one. I think stress is a very subjective experience and ultimately unique based on how you think of it and what has happened to you when you were under stress. What kind of meaning you give to stress is the key. As Dr McGonigal says in her book, “stress and meaning are inextricably linked.” Think about it. You don't get stressed about things you don't care about. And, you get stressed about things you care about. So, a meaningful life will inevitably bring stress. Think about what makes your life meaningful to you - perhaps a loved one, family member, job, hobby, child, etc. All of those wonderful things bring some level of stress.
Let’s dig a little deeper. When something you care about is at stake, you must have some sort of connection or relationship to it. On a very basic level, stress verifies that something in this world will cause your pulse or heart rate to change. Stress is proof that something in this world will lead you to act and take action about something important to you. That is ultimately what I think Dr. Kelly McGonigal meant when she gave her definition of stress.
I hope this excerpt can give you a different perspective on stress and lead to some questioning about your own beliefs and experiences w/ stress. Does stress have to be “bad” or “good”, or can it simply be a tool or vehicle for us? I would invite you to follow this link to check out Dr McGonigal’s TED Talk about how stress can be your friend - https://bio.site/evolveonward.
Source: The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It. By Dr Kelly McGonigal, PhD
