My stuttering, an advantage?
Happy National Stuttering Awareness Week!
As I was reflecting on National Stuttering Awareness Week (May 9th to May 15th), I thought about a defining experience after grad school that began changing my view of my stuttering. During an interview for my first job after grad school, my future boss told me that my stuttering was an advantage. I looked at him thinking “what are you talking about?“. My future boss went on to say that my stuttering brought the listener in. He said stuttering required the listener to pay more attention and follow along. This made some sense to me; however, this would mean that the listener is willing to be patient with you and pay more attention which you cannot control. Personally, I would like to think that since I am a psychotherapist/counselor, my clients would want to listen more closely because they came to see me for support!
As I approach my 9 year anniversary working in behavioral health, I continue learning how stuttering could be viewed as an advantage. Every day I meet with a client, I tell them that I stutter. I have mastered an ‘elevator speech’ or ‘disclaimer’ to ensure my client knows what to expect if I stutter. I think it can put my client more at ease if they have never met or heard someone who stutters. I also tell my client to ask questions about stuttering if they want. I would say 99.9% of the clients I work with have never had an issue with my stuttering. The majority of my clients say, “no problem, take your time.” Some of my clients will say “my boyfriend stutters” or “my cousin stutters” or “my best friend stutters“ and they get it. I also wonder if telling my clients I stutter right off the bat is an indirect way to start building trust and a therapeutic relationship. I wonder if my clients see that I am not perfect and have something that makes me different, perhaps making it easier for them to connect with me. I would safely assume that some, maybe many, of my clients may feel different, isolated, left out, forgotten. Unfortunately the list goes on. Nonetheless, maybe my stuttering draws them in and gives them an opportunity to relate and connect like, “hmm, Dave stutters. He’s different like me”.
As we bring this back to National Stuttering Awareness Week, I have a challenge for people who stutter (PWS) and the listeners. For PWS: if possible, could you make an effort to educate your listeners more often about stuttering? For listeners: would you be willing to be curious and ask a PWS more questions about stuttering? I wonder if these changes could improve the conversation in some way. Maybe these efforts made by PWS and listeners would continue increasing awareness and education about stuttering. Depending on your mindset, stuttering could give PWS the opportunity to be challenged and advocate for oneself and all PWS. By no means is this easy and I cannot assume all PWS are ready for this challenge depending on their own unique journey with stuttering. However, is it possible that your perception of your stuttering could change? Evolve? Move in another direction? Is stuttering painful, scary, frustrating, infuriating, and so much more? Absolutely. No doubt. And, I can’t help but wonder if stuttering could be a daily test, or workout, for not only your speech, but also your thoughts and emotions. Maybe stuttering is a way of becoming “battle tested” and hopefully more resilient as people. If stuttering is viewed in that way, maybe stuttering could be an advantage because PWS are tested everyday. We have a leg up on others, don’t we?
Thank you for taking time to read this and supporting National Stuttering Awareness Week.
